The Process Thought (Sliddus Withe Tidus)
Along the ancient shores of the Pantheistic Peninsula surrounded by the immense Philosophical Sea drifts the ever-changing Process Thought. Having evolved from the ancient Plotinus species, this more fluid fellow eventually migrated to regions containing other schools of intellectual and cold-blooded sea creatures. There the Process Thought feeds upon the exotic flora of Relative Rockweed, Finite Fungi, and Mutable Moss. This unusual diet makes him well suited to the radically changing tides of the sea.
The early dominant varieties of Process Thought came to be known as the notorious Whitehead and Hartshorne. Interestingly, a unique Cobb strain has recently been discovered in great numbers and size around the Claremont Cove, where all sorts of bizarre creatures tend to flourish.
Explorers should be on the lookout when they sink to the depths of the Process Thought. Despite his innocuous appearance and lack of theological backbone, this vacillating creature is in fact a true man-ofwar. His noxious sting of slipshod thinking can be mind-bending and even fatal. Some believe that this explains the now classic and perhaps tragic case of noted explorer Clark P. Nock.¹
Specialists in theological sea exploration advise that the only sure way to handle the poisonous Process Thought is to beach him. Such a task, however, is easier said than done, considering that no creature is more difficult to get a handle on than one that’s lost its grip.²
¹For his part, Clark P. Nock says he feels fine
²For an alarming investigation into the dangers of the Process Thought, see John Fineburg’s Willy-Nilly Jelly Bellies: The Process Thought Revealed.”
PS - I didn’t write this! Check out previous posts on Neo-Orthodoxy and Calvinism for the intro to the series.
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Tags: humour, pinnock, process theology, theology
